the 10th-hour miracle

"faith is the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen." (hebrews 11:1) ~('o')~ there is only love for You that which i can give that which is the water of my existence You live for me and i, for You bless my heart, my life my soul, my friends and embrace them more with your stars ~('o')~

an ideal time

"youth is not a time of life.  it's a state of mind.  it's a temper of the will, a quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions, a predominance of courage over timidity, of the appetite for adventure over love of ease.  nobody grows old by merely living a number of years.  people grow old only by deserting thier ideals.  years wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul.  whether sixty or sixteen, there is in every being's heart the love of wonder, the sweet amazement at the stars and the starlike things and thoughts, the undaunted challenge of events, the unfailing childlike appetite for what next and the joy of the game  of living.  you are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence; as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair.  so long as your heart receives messages of beauty, cheer, courage, grandeur and power from the earth, from man and from the Infinite, so long are you young.  live everyday of your life with enthusiams!"  (gen. douglas macarthur)   http://faculty.washington.edu/kendo/macarthur.html ~('o')~ these words from a man of historical significance reminded me to look inside me and thereby find what is meaningful and childlike in me -my thoughts, my dreams, my heart, my soul.  for knowing these, i will always take with me the hope and the cheer to look forward with awe and wonder at what the future holds for me.  it may not be with clarity and certainty just yet, but knowing who holds the future and who watches over me, is perhaps, in this changing times, enough to sustain me.  the cycle of nature will go on unceasing, and time will age me, but for as long as i look up, grasp the warmth of the sunny day;  embrace the blessings of rain; stare in amazement at the stars, and fill my heart with love and faith, i will always be young . . .  _huggin_

so close

i can do everything through Him who gives me strength! (philippians 4:13) a simple gratitude for the grace and mercy of a loving God ...  today, He watered the day with rain ... and He  warmed my day with the sudden appearance of sun ...  no matter, the weather, He is always there.   ~('o')~          ~('o')~          ~('o')~   hold me close let Your love surround me bring me near draw me to Your side and as i wait, i rise up like the eagle and i will soar with You your spirit moves me on by the power of Your love http://www.geoffbullock.com   ~('o')~          ~('o')~          ~('o')~   so close, i believe You're holding me now in Your hands, i belong You'll never let me go   ~('o')~          ~('o')~          ~('o')~   is He not strong enough? is He not pure enough? to break  me, pour me out and start again is He not brave enough? to take one chance on me   ~('o')~          ~('o')~          ~('o')~   inspired through the worship services at http://www.crossroad77.com/

desiderata

an inspiring insight on life and living - penned by Max Ehrmann, copyright 1952.  ( http://hobbes.ncsa.uiuc.edu/desiderata.html )  in a time of hurting and healing, this reminds me of the days of youth and the ideals that were formed at that stage in life.  i am posting this as a reminder to all that we must nourish our ideals while living in the light of reality that is meaningful and true.  go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.  as far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.  speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others; even to the dull and ignorant;  they too have their story.  avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit.  if you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.  enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.  keep interested in your own career, however humble, it's a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.  exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.  but, let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.  be yourself.  especially do not feign affection.  neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.  take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.  nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.  but do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.  many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.  beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle yourself.  you are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.  and whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.  therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.  and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.  with all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.  be cheerful.  strive to be happy.

yours alone

in whose arms
i fall
in whose arms
i soar
in whose arms
lay my warmth
my bliss
my peace
in whose arms
my heart choose
to call
enough to fly
to defy
and to rise and rise

in whose arms
i have known
a solemn gentleness
in whose arms
i am loved
and enfolded in
absolute tenderness

in whose arms
i run to
and flee to
in whose arms
the greatest space
i ever found
in whose arms
i gave my one
and all

in yours
and
yours alone . . .

< feeling blue >

i could laugh, sing and dance, but it would only be you i'm looking at.  the face in the mirror whose eyes are filled with sadness and secrets, but, one i'm most familiar with.  to say that i know you, the whole of you is an understatement.  needing further dialogue and a play of words.  many centuries may have passed and i know you still because you are the silent rhythm to an elusive dream.  lofty ideals have made you a cause to live for and a hunger to die for.  yet, despite knowing, i will not claim you.  only you can decide how far i would go.  kill me with your patient thought and drown me in a river of song, but i'd still be wandering in a field of dreams with no warmth except your own. you and i exist with a galaxy between us but, i believe the earth can't spin correctly if your heart and mine do not link inexplicably.

a paean to the sky

(i) you mirrored my thoughts my changes . . . and your mind is my wings i drew your constellations for to sing in the light of your grandness i sought again your peace long since mine (ii) you echoed my laughter as you reached out to my mind and kissed the silent transcendence of my eyes   in solemn celebration to the big blanket of sky God gave to warm us over.  often reminds me that the darker the night, the brighter the stars ... -k10-

writing red

broken red on hand, pastel blue on my mind - this seeking is endless like i'm inside an elemental unindexed file.  intangible in your perception.  frosted thoughts through a looking glass.  i pause. prodded on by the momentum, the broken red continues to write on.  its white covering leaden feelings.  allowing only undiminished thinking.  my musings are my heart and i wander endlessly, i know i must get hold of myself.  take control and begin again. . . the elements around me swirling... colliding... mingling... emerging... my need for solace is a hunger in itself.  and it must be fed, or soon i'd wither...   as flowers bloom, nourished deep in the roots, tended by sun and rain,  so am i.

alive!

a measured time, unparalled view
quandary of unspoken emotions
only for you

i exhale.

an unfathomed distance, the great divide
plethora of adjectives, my admiration
the constellation, my solemn guide

i inhale.

a minute of recall and remembrance
is eternity for me
knowing that i'm thought of
with kindness
is inspiration enough to
make me, as strong as i'll ever be

i breathe.

and i'm so very much alive!

emergence

i recall these paragraph, from a long-ago article i've read and re-read: (how i wish i could have written one as poignant as this!)


".. my inner life has seen such a succession of transformations that, although painful, confusing & terrifying, have made my being all the more profound, and receptive to my own spirit. my elements have changed. i'm less fire, more water and air. the flood of sorrow calms, the wind moves silently over the surface and i guess i'm waiting to wash up on land, and finally get my footing. and in this watery silence and time of reflection i hear the whisphers clearer than ever, like heartbeats in the womb, foretelling emergence. " (breathing space)


the sense of emergence is as scintillating and exhilarating to me as the man who holds my hand gently and keeps me warm in his heart.